Monthly Archives June 2012


June 29, 2012 Kink and BDSMSubmissives  2 comments

Isn’t that a fine word?  Wicked.

Let it roll over your tongue.  Your lips form the same pucker as in a kiss, then you have the sharp sound in the middle, with that definitive d sound at the end.

It has several definitions, but the one I like the best is “Playfully malicious or mischievous.”  Playfully malicious.

Doesn’t that just sound like a female dominant?  A good one, anyway.  Playfully malicious.

drew often refers to me as “wicked.”  I do quite like it.

I’ve been accused of having a wicked laugh, and a wicked mind, and a wicked touch.  I’ve never denied any of those.  I consider them compliments.  I like the idea of wickedness.

I think that comes as close to how I feel, too, when I’m doing something, well, something wicked.

I feel playfully malicious...

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June 28, 2012 Kink and BDSMRelationships  No comments

One of the things I truly enjoy is conversation.

I have always held that great conversation is nearly as stimulating as great sex, while good conversation is far better than bad sex.  Good conversation imparts information, allows us to communicate with others.  Communication requires a shared language.

Towards that end, I wanted to speculate on the definitions of some of the words we use.

One of the essential requirements of conversation is that we all agree to a specific set of building blocks that we will use for that purpose, namely language.  I believe that the better we use and understand language the more precise our communication will be...

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June 27, 2012 Kink and BDSMRelationshipsslave drewslave thomas  No comments

I do monthly classes here in Louisville, on “BDSM Basics.”  I had one a couple of weeks ago on safety.  We talked about both the kind of safety as in, how and where you can strike people safely, but we also talked about some other aspects of safety, which for me boil down to behaving rationally, knowing the people you play with.

The thing that struck me, though, was an email I had gotten from someone who had signed up for the class.  I send out a reminder because anyone who wants to attend needs to get pre-registered, so I know who’s coming and they know where to go.

So I sent an email to one guy who had signed up for the class.  He’s pretty new in terms of the community, six or eight months, I think, and considers himself a Top.

In other words, one might think he’s precisely the perso...

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What to Expect at a Munch

June 26, 2012 Kink and BDSMKink CommunityLouisville Munch  No comments

It occurred to me that I have never posted the single piece of writing that has been used more than anything else I’ve ever done.  I wrote it years ago, back in 2000, because I got so many people asking me about munches.  Since then it’s been used in introductory packets all over the world, literally – I got a request from South Africa, years back, and if you do a Google search on it as ” What to Expect at a Munch,” the first 150 or so, at least, references are to this article.

What to Expect at a Munch

If you’ve never been to a munch before, the prospect can be very intimidating. What should you expect, how should you behave, how should you dress, what might happen, what might not? When you add that to a lifestyle that can seem terribly intimidating on its own, the terror mounts...

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Spinning Fire

June 26, 2012 Vanilla Life  No comments

slave drew and I rode over on the scooter tonight to see our friends, Mark and Christine.  Mark is a very talented photographer and he’d talked to drew about helping him set up a photo shoot, which is what we did tonight.

Mark’s idea was to use a very slow shutter speed, 30 seconds or so, and take photos of a spinning fire.  The fire was created by filling an egg whisk with steel wool, setting it alight, then spinning it on the end of a chain.

By using a very slow shutter speed, you get the image of the fire spinning in a circle, throwing off sparks.

Of course, sometimes the whisk also flies off the end of the chain, causing some of us to scatter.

We must have tried it about a half dozen times, with varying success, although we ended up with at least three or four photos that are quite i...

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Sunday Munch

June 24, 2012 Louisville MunchVanilla Life  No comments

Today was the Sunday munch, which was fun, followed by running out of gas on the scooter on the way home, which was less fun, but not a big deal.

We got the side bed we wanted to put in done today, and drew made me a small desk I needed.

We saw friends at the munch, talked to a new person or two, immediately decided whether or not I liked them – one yes, one no – and prepared for another week, basically.

Except now, it’s time for bed, so I’m going to leave with a poem, because it’s my blog and I can.

Sara Teasdale is my all-time favorite poet, and I have memorized her poetry for 40 years now.  This has always been one of my favorites.

Desert Pools

I love too much; I am a river
Surging with spring that seeks the sea,
I am too generous a giver,
Love will not stoop to drink of me.

His feet w...

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A Busy Saturday

June 24, 2012 GardenKink and BDSMMemoriesslave drewSubmissivesVanilla Life  No comments

He had a very pleasant day, in which we accomplished a lot, two of my very favorite things.

I did my usual yard sale thing this morning, and found some nifty stuff.  drew got clothes, some naturalist books and his favorite, three aluminum outlines of birds, clearly made by a person and not a mold or company, that I thought he would like hung on his workshop doors down at his house in Western Kentucky.

I found some shoes, a book or two, and several plants.  I recently cleaned out the small bed on the kitchen side of the house and it needed some plants.  The spot gets baking sun most of the day during the summer, so it isn’t a spot for sissy plants.

I bought four sedums, a succulent that will do well there, and four small pots of Siberian iris, on which I spent exactly $1.85.

I met drew f...

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Friday Night

June 22, 2012 slave drewslave thomasVanilla Life  No comments

It’s been a long and action-packed week, with some appliance swapping  that necessitated furniture moving and hustling around.

I have had a six months of appliance issues.  Most of the appliances are the same ones that were in the house when I moved in 1990, and they all still work, but the stove needed some work this winter, and while the fridge was fine, it was an obviously old side-by-side, which is one of the least rational designs ever created.  It is impossible to put a frozen pizza in a side-by-side freezer, at least in this one, unless you take every single thing out of one shelf.  Not practical.

So, now I have that done, and that’s good, and I cleaned up most of the kitchen as well, so that’s a good thing.

On the other hand, I’ve slept poorly the last two nights and I am a lit...

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June 21, 2012 EventsLeatherLeather Contests  No comments

I was just asked to judge the International Master and slave contest in March in Dallas.  That lead me to remember something I wrote a while back, which I am again going to retread, about judging a Leather contest:

I spent last weekend in the rather strange position of judging other members of our community.

Let me clarify, since to some extent, we judge others all the time in all kinds of ways.  I was officially judging them.  It wasn’t just the usual passing of a yay or a nay about someone and the choices they made in partner or wardrobe.

I was one of eight judges on a panel to pick a Leather Sir, a Leather boy and a Bootblack, all of whom would go on to the International Leather Sir/Leather boy and Community Bootblack Contest.

It’s an interesting thing to come into a room as a sort...

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Night Rides

June 20, 2012 Gardenslave drewVanilla Life  No comments

slave drew and I acquired a motor scooter late last summer.

It is, to be clear, a scooter.

It is NOT a motorcycle.

I wouldn’t know the difference because I don’t know a thing about them, but trust me, I might be the only one.

We have put something like 350 miles on the scooter.  That might not sound like a lot until you realize that our top speed is something ike 35, meaning that we don’t go on the highway.

We drive around neighborhoods.  We go through a lot of alleys because we like seeing into people’s back yards, seeing what their gardens look like.

We drive through the parks.  Louisville has a beautiful park system, much of it designed by Frederic Law Olmstead, who designed Central Park in New York City.

One of the things we both like is riding around at night, after the sun has set...

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