Monthly Archives July 2012
As those who know me very well know, I love poetry. I have memorized poetry since I was 12 or so. My mother memorized poetry, too. She was as likely to recite poetry to me as to read to me.
One of my favorite poets is Sara Teasdale, one of those tragic female poets who offs themselves before 50. She was the love of Vachel Lindsay, another tragic poet that committed suicide in true poetic fashion, drinking a bottle of lye.
In any case, one of the continuing themes I have always found in her work, and likely one of the reasons I identified with her, even then, was dominance and submission. I could name – and recite – at least a dozen poems of her that have a strong flavor of D/s.
The single poem of hers in which I see that dynamic so strongly is this one...Read More
If called upon to describe myself, I would tell you that, among other things, I was confident. I have faith in myself, in my decisions, in my ability. On the other hand, the other side of confidence can be conceit, and where do we draw the line?
I have never been a fan of the concept of female superiority. Honestly, any noun followed by the word “superiority” makes me nervous. I don’t think any group of people is superior or inferior.
On the other hand, I do believe I am superior. Doesn’t that sound conceited? It’s true, though.
I believe that I am smarter and more aware, that I pay more attention, that I have a long history of making good decisions...Read More
Perhaps that should be “Unreasonable Expectations?” Question mark and all.
I am wondering if my expectations are too high too often. I got some information today that made me think that.
Not terrible news at all, something that is actually the outcome that I preferred and thought was the best option, and something I expected, too. I think it will end up being a learning experience for everyone involved, myself as well, and that’s a good thing to take away.
But it made me think.
I don’t think I expect more of others than I expect of myself. That is said, by the way, with a genuine sense of self-examination, not as an arch justification. I don’t *think* that I do. I have fairly high expectations for myself. I take on a lot of responsibilities. I follow through with them...Read More
I just got an invitation this week to present at Kinky Kollege in Chicago in October. An old friend, Jack Rinella, asked me to do a 101 sort of class for them, as well as a couple more. I don’t know what else I’ll present for him, I sent him a long list of classes I have available.
I will also be presenting with my friend Ms Tammy at Mr. Georgia Leather in Atlanta in September, and of course I’ll be presenting at GLLA in August in Indianapolis. I presented last month at Corn Con in Bloomington, Illinois, and in April at Beyond Leather, in Florida.
I also do local classes once a month at least, too.
I like presenting. I’m a dominant, what’s better than standing in front of a bunch of people, all of who are gazing at me with rapt attention, hanging on every word I say...Read More
We had our monthly SIG meeting this afternoon. It was a topic I always enjoy, Deal Breakers and Non-Starters.
We meet for some social time before the discussion because, well, because you can’t get kinky people together and expect them not to be social, even if there’s an agenda.
So, we socialize for a bit before, then, about the time the food usually arrives, I read the list of questions aloud, if people have questions they ask then, and then we break into three separate groups, dominants, submissives and switches.
We are lucky enough to have a fairly large population of switches, or, perhaps the fact that switches have been welcomed here, they feel more comfortable claiming that identity than they might...Read More
Not so much, actually.
I am not really a forgive and forget kind of girl. I can forgive mistakes; flaws in character, however, are another thing.
Other people seem to be far more fickle than I am. I don’t usually burn bridges until I am absolutely positive that there is nothing on the other side I will truly miss before I set ablaze the only means by which to reach it.
I do have a temper, but it rarely flares. I am more an Ice Princess type than a Drama Queen. Revenge is a dish best served cold, after all.
It takes a lot for me to write someone off. It’s not a whim thing, it’s a considered decision. I have to believe you to be essentially dishonest, obstructionist, untrustworthy and/or singularly unreliable.
I have never made the decision to sever ties with someone based on one...Read More
July 14, 2012 Leather
I got back this evening from a going away party for a friend, to whom I presented a piece of earned leather.
It was a long night, a drive to and from Lexington, a ceremony there. I have to be up again bright and early.
So this will be very short.
I am pleased to note that I had tears in people’s eyes during the ceremony. I always say that if I can’t make someone cry during a leather presentation, I didn’t do it right.
Giving a piece of earned leather makes someone a part of my leather family.
I have given eight pieces of leather in my life. I will give another piece at GLLA this year, and I expect to give two more pieces at the munch in November.
My family grows.Read More
July 12, 2012 Vanilla Life
Because it got late fast and I got tired fast, so I’m going to post one of my very favorite poems here, by Edna St. Vincent Millay:
What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why,Read More
I have forgotten, and what arms have lain
Under my head till morning; but the rain
Is full of ghosts tonight, that tap and sigh
Upon the glass and listen for reply,
And in my heart there stirs a quiet pain
For unremembered lads that not again
Will turn to me at midnight with a cry.
Thus in winter stands the lonely tree,
Nor knows what birds have vanished one by one,
Yet knows its boughs more silent than before:
I cannot say what loves have come and gone,
I only know that summer sang in me
A little while, that in me sings no more.
I’ve been speculating of late on the various things I am, both flattering and less so.
I can be selfish. I want what I want. I think I should get to have the say in how things go, I think I make good decisions, and that my decisions almost always have positive outcomes, therefore, I should get to be in charge.
I can be bitchy. Watch me arch an eyebrow sometime, or roll my eyes at someone’s foolishness. I can be a bitch.
I can be inflexible. I think of myself as stiff-necked at times. Probably were I going to change a single thing about myself it might be that. It’s hard for me to go with the flow, to let things happen around me. I should be in charge, I should make it all come out fine.
I can be a sadist, too, though that is, I think, very much an on-again, off-again part o...Read More
So, I would guess that the unflattering term that is most applied to me by those among whom the ranks of my fans do not swell, is “bitch.”
(I’m sure that’s not the only unflattering term that has been been bandied about, only the most common.)
And I can live with that, actually.
I have always felt as though being called a bitch means I won.
And I can be. A royal bitch on wheels. I expect people to do their best, to at least put forth effort. I can hold feet to the fire, and I am capable of spite. I’ve learned, I think, as I have aged that spite usually brings on regret for the action, so I have learned to do it rarely, but be assured, I consider it often. I just choose to be an adult about it.
Don’t you hate that, when you have to be an adult? You work yourself up into a good hi...Read More