Monthly Archives July 2012

Dominant or Bossy?

July 9, 2012 DominanceKink and BDSMSubmissives  4 comments

That is the question.

I have a picture of myself at about three, which my ex, Beth, onee told me that I should, “put on your dominatrix page.”

I have said about myself that I was bossy at the age of three, and those of you who know me might recognize my current self buried in that personality, with her hands propped on her hips, looking up at the camera.

Honestly, to some extent, bossy and dominant are often the same thing, at least in most of the people I know.

The inability to make decisions is an astonishing thing to me.  I can make decisions quickly, and my judgement is usually pretty good, meaning that my tendency to decide quickly usually has pretty good re-enforcement.

While making a decision to do – or not to do – something is usually a fairly quick one for me, experience has als...

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Post Munch Redux

July 8, 2012 Kink CommunityLouisville Munch  One comment

So, I’ve been to two munches in two days.  That’s a fair amount.

Friday’s munch was at a Chinese buffet, and there were quite a few people, 40 or more.  The air conditioner had been off in the room so it was, I am told, quite hot, though I wasn’t uncomfortable.  Heat rarely bothers me.

The buffet had crab legs, and I got some, cracked them, went and washed my hands, then cracked a few more, then went and washed my hands again.  As I turned to leave the room, something caught my eye and I thought, “Why are there urin– Oh, my god…”  No one had been in the bathroom, obviously, either time, for which I am grateful.  I went in again one last time thinking, well, maybe they look just alike and I didn’t go into the wrong one the first time.  It was clear I was wrong, however...

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Late Night

July 8, 2012 Kink CommunityLouisville Munch  4 comments

It is quite late now, well after 1am, particularly late for someone who’s been getting up at 6am or so of late.

Another munch is history, a big one tonight, 85 people or so.  Lots of new folks, and lots of old friends, which was nice to see.

Harold, who came to the very first munch, was there, and sat next to me.

aisha, one of my favorites, sat across from me.

Ambrosio, visiting from Texas sat across from me.

Alan was there, too, another face that we don’t see often these days.

There were lots of new folks, too, as there always are, and lots was said and done and I’m sure I’ll be more able to blog about it comprehensibly tomorrow, when I have had a bit more sleep.

For now, however, my pillow beckons and I don’t intend to keep it waiting much longer.

A good night to you all, and since this...

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Munch Weekend

July 6, 2012 Kink and BDSMKink CommunityMemories  No comments

Tonight is the Friday Louisville Munch, then tomorrow is the Saturday Louisville Munch.  It’s rare for me to miss either of them, and tonight will be no exception, unless something doesn’t go as planned.

The first munch I ever went to was 15 years ago this month, in Lexington, Kentucky, at a Ryan’s Steakhouse.  There were, perhaps, 15 of us.  A couple named Denise and Jeff ran them int he dim dark days, though not for very long.  I saw Denise not that long ago and she had changed little.

She isn’t very active at all anymore.  I can’t think of anyone else in this area that I met that long ago who is still active.  Jim had to step down a long time ago because of work issues, then had a severe health issue.  The last time I saw him was at a friend’s funeral.

Deb married her slave and n...

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Independence Day 2012

July 5, 2012 Kink CommunityRelationships  No comments

So, yesterday I wrote about my own unconventional wedding, long, long ago.

Yesterday I went to a barbecue, a Fourth of July cookout.

I had friends that I knew had decided to elope on Independence day, but silly me, I thought they’d go to Gatlinburg, or Memphis or something.  No, they decided to get married at the cookout.

It was approximately 1000 degrees outside yesterday.  Or maybe 2000.

It was fucking HOT.

The groom wore a handsome black suit with dress shirt and tie, the bride wore a lovely black and white cocktail dress, along with her steel collar and cuffs, which she wear all the time.

It was a kinky wedding, so a friend had gotten himself ordained online in honor of the occasion, the vows were written on the fly...

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Independence Day 1981

July 4, 2012 MemoriesRelationshipsVanilla Life  No comments

Today is the anniversary of my first wedding.

I married Beth the first time on July 4th, 1981.

So, the first time we “married,” we said it to ourselves in Cazenovia, New York, under some trees, while fireworks went off overhead.  My ring was a silver one with a small blob of silver in place of a stone.  I have no idea what ever happened to it, I’ve not seen it in 20 years, anyway.

The next year, however, we did it up and had a big ol’ gay wedding.  It was, of course, illegal everywhere then, so there was no legal ceremony.

We were married by a Unitarian Universalist minister, Father Tim, who suffered so much guilt over the fact that we were not able to legally marry that we always expected him to write us a check.

He and his wife were what slave drew calls “crunchy” types...

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Pesto Production

July 3, 2012 GardenVanilla Life  No comments

I spent my day making pesto.

Every summer I make pesto.  I grow 12 or 15 basil plans of different variety.  Mostly plain sweet basil, but I also always add lemon and lime basil, Thai basil, purple basil and lettuce leaf basil.  Sometimes I use spicy globe basil, but the leaves are so small it’s hardly worth it.

I try several times over the summer to make pesto.  It’s a luxury to have a great store of it.  It makes a nice last minute gift, I supply slave drew at his house with pesto, and there is absolutely always pesto in the fridge and the freezer both.  I add it to lasagne, mix it in with red sauce, add it to garlic bread, etc.

So, I chronicled my basil day, because I felt like it.  I clipped an enormous armload of basil about 1pm...

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July 2, 2012 Memoriesslave drewslave thomas  No comments

I am suspicious of extravagant flattery.  Tell me on first meeting that I am the most amazing and beautiful and sexy woman you have ever met and you will likely notice my eyes narrowing and the set of my mouth becoming tighter.  I am thinking, if your standards are so low, and pretty words fall so easily from your lips, then how can I trust what you tell me about anything else?

Having said that, let me also add that, like most humans, I do like and appreciate compliments.  I was thinking about them this afternoon while weeding my garden.  I don’t know if there’s some connection there or not, but it was when it occurred.

The compliments that have meant the most to me were based on knowledge of me.  The ones that matter to me, too, were based on knowing myself, as well...

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Great Lakes Leather Alliance

July 1, 2012 Kink and BDSMLeather Contestsslave drewslave thomas  5 comments

I have spent my day confirming the various schedule for GLLA.

One of the projects I work on all year is GLLA.  The GLLA Mission Statement, from the website, is:

The mission of the Great Lakes Leather Alliance is to build bridges between the Leather, BDSM, D/s, M/s, fetish, and alternative sexual lifestyle communities.

The Great Lakes Leather Alliance hopes to promote education and enhance communication between each of these groups, and it seeks to promote the success and welfare of the individuals and organizations within our combined community. We especially want to protect against threats to our freedom of expression.

We will not discriminate based on age, sexual preference, gender, race, or any other diversity...

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