Post Munch Redux
So, I’ve been to two munches in two days. That’s a fair amount.
Friday’s munch was at a Chinese buffet, and there were quite a few people, 40 or more. The air conditioner had been off in the room so it was, I am told, quite hot, though I wasn’t uncomfortable. Heat rarely bothers me.
The buffet had crab legs, and I got some, cracked them, went and washed my hands, then cracked a few more, then went and washed my hands again. As I turned to leave the room, something caught my eye and I thought, “Why are there urin– Oh, my god…” No one had been in the bathroom, obviously, either time, for which I am grateful. I went in again one last time thinking, well, maybe they look just alike and I didn’t go into the wrong one the first time. It was clear I was wrong, however. I was in the men’s room both times.
I got a gift Friday night from friends at the munch. They had gone to a flea market and found these at it. They said, “We knew these were for Ms Constance.” I actually have two more just like them, so I now have a set of four juice glasses, which is particularly nice.
I left the munch relatively early, but that’s easier to do when you know there’s another one the next night.
Saturday’s munch was at Bearno’s by the Bridge, the original location of the munch and our home for the first dozen years. An enormous stadium was built literally a block away a couple years back, and really made it unusable as a venue for a couple of years and it’s still problematic. When there’s nothing going on at the stadium, it works fine. When there is…
In any case it was kind of an appropriate location, since it had an old home week flavor with all the blasts from the past who were there.
One of the things I learned from doing munches for so long was that people come and go. There are few constants, people who stick around and come regularly, but even they fade over time. The munches will celebrate their 15th anniversary this year, so that’s a long time.
Time passes and things change.
Sometimes people come in to test the waters. Sometimes this works for them, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes the issue is that it turns out it’s really mostly a sexual thing for them, not a “lifestyle,” and they find us a little hardcore, in the end. And that’s ok.
Sometimes people come in to find a partner or a playmate. The find it, and they disappear, presumably exploring whatever it is that interests them.
Sometimes life intercedes. They get a new job that has more or different hours, or lose a job and don’t have the energy or wherewithal to attend. They have a baby or their children’s lives and needs come first, which is understandable. They suffer ill health or a difficult diagnosis. They move, they marry, they divorce, they go to college or they graduate. Life interferes.
Sometimes they seem to simply have gotten all they can from the group and they move on, and that’s also fine. There’s no time limit, it’s open to anyone with an interest, they don’t have to commit.
The one thing that can happen to me is someone who hasn’t come for a long time, or at least not come regularly, shows up. I am the only familiar face they see, so they gravitate to me. That’s fine, but they cling to me as if I am the only thing between them and drowning, while saying again and again that they just don’t recognize ANYone, that no one from “the old days” is there.
Now, bear in mind, their “old days” and my “old days” are usually not the same. They mean three or five or eight years ago. I mean ten or 15. And the reason there are no familiar faces is because they do not come regularly. They expect, I imagine, that the world remains static in their absence, which it never does.
And it isn’t that I mind visiting a bit, but it can be delicate when they plop themselves down beside me and don’t make a real effort to meet any of the people that ARE there. When they do that, for instance, there isn’t always room for the people who come regularly, whom I genuinely consider friends, and with whom I really do want to visit.
So, last night was a good night, with familiar faces and some new folks, some folks I like, some I actually don’t, and some I haven’t bothered to form an opinion on.
In other words, it was a typical munch.