I Am Too Old to be Doing this Shit…

August 27, 2012 Uncategorized  4 comments

You would not believe how tired I still am.

I went to bed late on Thursday night, after the cocktail party, after getting unloaded and unpacked, after moving tables and setting up the party, after sorting through papers and getting things put together…

I got up at 7:30, just enough time to shower and dress and scurry to the contestant meeting, at which I warn contestants that I will boss them around for their own good and to raise money, after which I scurried to get the silent auction set up, with much help from Gray and Chrisdy and Kenny and Meg and Charles and jacki and drew and god knows who else.

Then I scurried to teach my traditional class, a newcomer’s class for GLLA itself, where I talk about the event, the things we do and why we do them, and generally answer any questions the audience wants to ask me.  I did it in the theater and had 15 or 20 people for it.

Then I did my So You Want to be a Titleholder class, which was completely new and only sketchily written.  It was fun, though, and I had about 25 or 30 people in that.

Then I went to finish up auction stuff, then I went to the one of the receptions, then I went to the LIFE Detroit cocktail party at which I had yummy pudding shots.

Then I went to the Friday night of the contest, which was fabulous thanks to Carlos, our Show Director.

Then I went back and got the ridiculous hooker heels I had promised slave drew I would wear.  He carried them and I wore flip flops out to the Ash Bash.  Gray had given me a lovely cigar, so we got the cigar started and I put on the shoes and stayed sitting except the one time I tried to walk and fell back into my seat.  It was quite a site, I’m sure.

Then I went to the dungeon and watched Shane getting suspended upside down with one eye while I beat the lovely Meg.

Then I got to bed at like 3am.

Then on Saturday, I got to sleep in a bit, until about 8:30 or so, when there was a knock on the door – there were so many knocks we stopped even fully closing the door – and Master Alex, for whom I have deep and great respect, was outside with a contest problem.

I was in my not-at-all slinky cotton nightgown, but invited him into the room because you can’t leave Master Alex standing in the hall.  I turned to find Ms Tammy, also not a not-at-all-slinky nightgown who had come through the adjoining door to  use our hairdryer.  I said, “Master Alex, I know this is your fantasy, in a hotel room with two hot redheads in their nightgowns.”

Master Alex shrugged.  “I was married for 32 years,” he said.

Once I was up and about Saturday morning, I had to start working on the Poolside Auction, which means coercing people to let me sell them in the auction, lining up my runners and staff, the people who collect money and credit card information and who run the cards and who do the other million things that have to be done.

I wheedle and cajole and call in favors to get the people I get to auction themselves off.  I tell them it’s for the children, meaning, as we all know, that it’s for the Titleholder Travel Fund.

And then, the real work starts.  But that’s a story for another day’s blog.  Bed is beckoning.

4 comments to I Am Too Old to be Doing this Shit…

  • aisha  says:

    Good grief, sounds exhausting, “old” or not!


  • sin  says:

    yeah, but it also sounds fascinating! Thanks for sharing it.

  • vanillamom  says:

    I’ll bet from the “frontside” it looks easy and seamless…and that very few people see the juggling acts you perform behind the scenes to keep it all flowing smoothly. I’m tired just from reading it all! Still, it seems like the event was a fun time for you, Ms. Constance. And just the start of your busy adventures this fall, if I remember correctly?



  • MsConstanceExplains  says:

    It really is a sort of rarefied atmosphere, isn’t it? You really leave the vanilla world pretty much behind for a weekend. You do see people running around in very sexy outfits, we do a lot of sort of edgy things, from smoking cigars, which I do, badly, but still enjoy the routine of it, to hitting other people with various things.

    It’s nice to spend time somewhere that you really don’t have to censor what you say at all, you can wear your most revealing outfit to breakfast, or you can wear your jeans and a t-shirt, and you’ll feel equally at home.

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