Questions for Dominants 07

October 8, 2012 Uncategorized  6 comments

I finally feel pretty much back to normal, after a three hour nap yesterday afternoon AND today, as well as a full night’s sleep last night.

So, back to the questions:

8.      How many collars have you given in your life?  What are your requirements for giving a collar?

I have given four collars all together in my life.

The first collar I gave was to my first submissive, Bill, because, well, that was what you did, right?

Bill was a nice enough man who would have been happier playing around, but that was ok, too.  He was around about six months, I think.

Then there was Gene, who also had a collar.  Gene was fun.  He was big and good looking and simple and liked pain pretty well and had the thinnest skin, literally, in the world.  I cut his arm with a flogger once, and not even a “sharp” one.

Gene was around at the beginning of the munch, and he was around six or eight months, anyway.

He was a graduate of West Point, so he was not dumb, but he was not an intellectual, either.

After that I was somewhat more selective.  The next collar I gave was to peter, who is an incredibly intelligent and NICE Indian professor from Wisconsin.

He taught me how to cane, and bought me one of my favorite toys, a leather school paddle, at Vicious Valentine one year.

I haven’t seen him in years, though we correspond occasionally.  He still calls me Mistress and signs his notes with love.  I never took back the collar, but I never saw a reason to, either.  In some strange way, it still works.

The last collar I gave was to slave thomas, and he has had two, one given each time he was mine.

The last time, he found a lovely circle collar, something that has to be closed with a tiny allen wrench.  It’s subtle and simple and I like it a lot.

This time, when I put it on him, I warned him that he needed to be very very sure this was what he wanted, because I didn’t intend to take it off again.

I meant that, too.  I don’t plan to remove it again.

Honestly, if he asked me for release, I would deny it, at least until there had been time enough to confirm that it was for the best and the right thing to do, but I don’t really foresee that.  I expect it to remain there.

That’s the four.  Interestingly, perhaps, slave drew’s name isn’t there.

I gave drew, years and years ago, not long after we’d met, a key chain that was engraved with the word “Owned.”  He’s carried that since, though I think the charm is so scratched from time that it’s hard to see the word.

That’s ok, I know it’s there.

So does he.

When I gave peter a collar, I asked drew if it would bother him, and his response was rather a snort.  I determined at that point in time that I wouldn’t give him a collar until and unless he asked for it, and he never has.

Interestingly, of course, he has a legal relationship to me, and we have much more entwined lives.  There’s never been a moment’s real doubt of what he was or who he belonged to; I think it was just something that didn’t matter to him because of how he came to it.

So, that’s the roll call of submissives.

Were I going to give a collar now, the most important requirement to me would be a belief that it represented a genuine and real relationship.

I wouldn’t give a collar to anyone that had not been serving me for a significant period of time, and I don’t know what that is, but it would be more than a few months, certainly.

A collar I gave now would be as much recognition of what had come before as an expectation of what would follow.

I would be unlikely to be swayed by the amount of proximity, either.  I mean, even if I spent 10 hours a day with you for three months, it’s still only three months, regardless.

I would have to have a real belief that I was unlikely to take that collar off, too.  I’m not fond of the concept of Velcro collars.

You give a collar with the same sense of seriousness and purpose that you give a marriage vow.

You expect it to be forever, even while recognizing that it may possibly not be.

6 comments to Questions for Dominants 07

  • sin  says:

    I love hearing this point of view on collars. Thank you for sharing. And I’m so glad you are answering these questions. Thanks,
    -sin

    • MsConstanceExplains  says:

      It’s been fun answering them, though I can see that I could have done a better job in some cases, but I do put together a bunch of questions for the Special Interest Groups I host monthly, so I’m kind of used to it, but still. I’ll learn. 🙂

  • ancilla_ksst  says:

    I just had a “it’s a small world” moment when you described your 3rd collar recipient.

    • MsConstanceExplains  says:

      That would not be particularly inappropriate, as it happens. 🙂

      • ancilla_ksst  says:

        See, I live in Wisconsin. I may have met him at a caning demo. Really nice person. I missed getting caned because other people were quicker to jump to the front than me.

        • MsConstanceExplains  says:

          He is a lovely man, and if it was a caning demo and Wisconsin, it probably WAS him.

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