Questions for Dominants 08
October 9, 2012 Uncategorized
9. What is the quality you find hardest to deal with in a submissive, on a personal level?
Actually, I find the same quality hard to deal with on any level.
I hate brats.
I really seriously do.
I am more than fine with confident and competent submissives.
I am good with a submissive that has opinions, even those strongly held, even if they are at odds with my own.
What I cannot stand is a submissive with a smart mouth and a defiant kind of attitude.
Now, if you like that and your submissive behaving that way, with the sort of hands on hips and stuck-out tongue, well, ok. Go for it.
However, please keep her or him away from me, because I will not find it charming or cute or adorable.
I will mostly think the submissive poorly behaved and the dominant not demanding enough.
Again, for the warning, if you like that, if your dominant likes that, if that’s what works for you, well, fine and dandy for you, but it does not strike me as particularly in keeping with the express dynamic of power exchange.
I think that the reason it so bothers me is that the single quality I most expect a submissive to have is a willingness to obey.
I don’t want to fight you for your submission.
In fact, I won’t fight you for it.
If you do not want to kneel in front of me, then the door is there and I assure you, I can replace you before the spot where you knelt grows cold.
Obedience and submission has to be offered willingly, and with knowledge of what is offered.
The idea of the “gift” of submission has always annoyed me, because it makes it sound somehow MORE special than dominance, or a little too romance novel-esque, or maybe as if it’s something that can be taken back at any moment.
However, the idea that one recognizes what is given, and gives it willingly, well now, that’s HOT. That’s what makes the blood sing through the veins.
In my book, submissives have power, brats have attitude.
If you claim no power, you can offer me none.
And powerful people are not the ones with hands on hips and tongue sticking out, are they?
To be fair, I think brattiness can often be an early step in the power exchange relationship. It can feel, I imagine, pretty scary and probably a little self-conscious, to come to this dynamic originally.
I would guess that that brattiness can be a little like the brattiness children often exhibit when they are trying to exert their independence.
In effect, in both circumstances, the child and the submissive, is saying, “Make me! I dare you!”
I imagine, too, it can be easier for the dominant who is new to dominance to exert power over a brat, because it’s almost knee-jerk. “Yes, I WILL make you!” I would think it might be easier to be the dominant when you’re “pushed” to it.
Maybe that’s part of why I dislike it so, too, because it seems so manipulative.
For me, it isn’t about whether or not I can make you do something.
It’s about whether or not I can make you WANT to do something.