Kink First – My First Toy

November 12, 2012 Kink and BDSMMemoriesTravels  3 comments

I was thinking, while I was driving to and from slave drew’s house, that one of the things that might be interesting was to blog about some of my kinky first, and one I thought about in particular was my first “real” toy.

By real, I mean, something that was not meant for something else, a pervertable, but something that cost more than a few dollars.

When you lay out real money for a toy, an implement that isn’t used for anything else but to indulge your kink, well, you’ve kind of crossed over from just dabbling.  You’re committed.

So, the first event I went to was the very first Black Rose.  One of the presenters and vendors there was Sarah Lashes, a British Lesbian out of San Francisco.

She did an amazing class on floggers and flogging, one which probably influenced me more than any other class on flogging.

The floggers she had there to sell were gorgeous, beautifully knotted and balanced.  They were also quite expensive, about $250-$300 each, and this was 15 years ago.

I found this description of Sarah on the web, “Those who are into ‘Floggers’ will know that those with the two highest reputations are: Sarah’s Lashes and Jeannette Heartwood.”  Sarah was more known on the west coast, Jeannette on the east.

So, I lusted after the floggers, but they were just too much for me to blow on that kind of thing, but I took a card and thought, when I can afford those…

So, a few months later I got a new job and in addition to a good wage, I got a rather generous signing bonus.

I called Sarah.

We talked, I remember, for probably a half hour.

We talked about the kinds of people I played with – men, mostly, so I’d want something with some weight.

We talked about the kind of material.  I ended up with a soft but weighty deer hide and a sharp bull hide.

We talked about how long I wanted the falls.  Not too long, she advised, the length would mean weight and because I’m short, too long would be too much.

We talked about the fact that I have smallish hands, so she made the shaft of the floggers just a bit smaller in diameter, so I could grip them more easily.

We talked about color, and I knew I wanted purple.

She quoted me a price that made me flinch, but not out of doubt over whether it was a fair price.  But it was an impressive amount regardless.

I wrote the check and sent it out the next day.

It took about six or eight weeks to get them, but then they arrived, and I’ve never regretted a cent of the price, not from that day to this.

They’re beautiful floggers, purple and black, and despite the difference in weights they’re both so perfectly balanced that you can use them as a pair.

The deerskin is soft, heavy, very thuddy.  The bullhide is thick and heavy, with a sharp edge to it.  I don’t use it as often, but I use at least one of them nearly every time I play, if I’ve got the room.

Floggers do tend to require a swing, so they’re awkward in smaller spaces, but even then, I still use them.

I’ve gained a lot of other toys over the years, though those are still among the most expensive items in my collection, at least to me, and I suppose they’re collector’s items, if there is such a thing, now.

I know Heartwood whips, particularly the ones she actually made, are coveted.

Yeah, it’s hard to tell yourself it’s a casual interest when your toy cost more than your month’s rent.

3 comments to Kink First – My First Toy

  • vanillamom  says:


    the first dildo i purchased cost a little bit.too little….when “they” say you get what you pay for? They weren’t kidding. That thing sucked.

    I’m currently lusting after a $125 vibe, but right now I can’t make that work. And that’s okay, subs love to yearn for things 🙂

    The day I plunked down $60 for a vibe I nearly gagged…but omg. The pleasure outweighed the pain! Still my favorite dildo, despite the fact that I killed the vibe part a year ago.

    Owning a toy made by someone just for you? And that you still use them so regularly? That speaks volumes of their creator’s care. I’d call that priceless, really. 🙂


  • ancilla_ksst  says:

    I have no idea on this one. Master bought all my toys for years, and I have no idea which are expensive or anything. Recently we got a matched set of floggers which were custom made for us, and they are awfully nice and really pretty. Really, really pretty. Some of the cheap toys are still a lot of fun though. A belt. A strip of leather. A mini blind rod. Good times!

    • MsConstanceExplains  says:

      I confess to being a bit of a snob about my own toys. I like pretty things. I’m not usually the one who has a lot of “pervertables” in my toy bag, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I think that, for me, part of the appeal, part of what I like, is the lovely toys. I probably like it, too, because I kind of like that they’re NOT pervetables, that they were meant for one thing, this thing that I do.

      That doesn’t mean I only like expensive toys, however, I have some lovely toys that I paid very little for, which to me is like $25 or less.

      But I do like my pretties.

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