December 20, 2012 Vanilla Life
Were the Mayans right?
It seems like if they were so fucking smart, they’d not have been so welcoming to the Spaniards, but I’m a cynic.
So, is tomorrow the end of the world?
I doubt it. Highly. And if it is the end of the world, clearly, I can do nothing about it.
Robert Frost said this, in Fire and Ice, about the end of the world:
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
If we had to choose between fire and ice, which would it be? They say that perishing from the cold is very peaceful, once you stop being cold. You simply go to sleep. We know fire is not so kind, so I suppose I’d take ice. I’d rather just go to sleep.
I’d rather not have tomorrow be the end, I feel like I still have things to do. Would I have regrets? Of course, wouldn’t we all?
If the people and the pets that I love all perish, too, though, I’d just as soon not stick around. I always felt that way about surviving some nuclear holocaust.
If I have to shoot my neighbors and hoard my food and watch the people and the pets I care about starve slowly, then I’ll save the bullets for us and let the neighbors have the food.
I used to think one of my faults was never knowing when to leave the party, of outstaying the fun, the welcome. In this case, though, I’d not.
So, if we’re all going out in a blaze of glory, or a sudden flash freeze, well, then I don’t see the point of worrying.
I try and tell the people I care about that I do care about them. More importantly to me, I try and show them. Actions speak so much louder than words.
What would I wish I’d done?
I would wish I’d traveled more. I want to get to the Galapagos Islands sometime. I’d like to have seen more of the world, but I’ve seen a lot of it, and most of this particular country.
I would wish I’d played more, maybe, been less serious and more of a eat-your-dessert-first kind of girl. That’s never been me, and maybe as the cold settles over me, I’ll wish I’d done that more, but it is not intrinsically me.
I might have wished I’d flirted more, followed up more often on those flirtations. On the other hand, my experience and exploits are hardly nun-like, either, so did I really miss anything? I don’t know.
On the other hand, if we all perish, then retirement savings don’t really matter, do they?
It doesn’t really matter if I clean out that hall closet, or vacuumed under my bed.
I’m glad I took the chances I did, laughed as much as I did, cried as little as I have.
I’m glad I did the Santa run and, dammit, I’m glad for the great squirrel adventure, too.
I hope to see you all here tomorrow night, safe and sound, glad the world hasn’t ended. If it does, well, I hope to see you all somewhere in the great beyond.
And I, for one, hope it’s really great.