Update from Cookie Central

December 8, 2012 RelationshipsUncategorizedVanilla Life  14 comments

You know, I was thinking today, as I was making cookies, that it’s probably odd to many vanilla people, or would be if they read some of our blogs, and might even be strange to some kinky folks that we talk about so many non-kinky things in blogs.

I think for me, this is less about kink than it is about me, and being kinky, while a huge part of my makeup, is not the only thing I am.  I am always a kinky person, but not everything I do revolves around kink.

I probably view things a bit differently because I am kinky, but there is still the non-kinky stuff of life, like making cookies and doing laundry and going to the grocery.

It would be nice, I suppose, to have this life where I never had to deal with those things, where some nameless elf slaves did all that and I sat on the sofa eating bonbons and drinking perfect tea from a never-ending and always hot porcelain cup of tea.

Oh, and the bonbons have no calories.  If we’re dreaming, let’s dream big.

But, honestly, I *like* many of the details of housekeeping.

We had a Board meeting for Fringe Elements Thursday night and we ordered a pizza and some folks had brought sandwiches.  When we were done and they were getting ready to leave I had to insist that I would tidy up myself.

I know that’s hard for the last two that were there, jacki and Cerrin, both submissives who do, far more often than I ever ask or expect, wait on me and take care of me and make sure I have the things I like.

But I *like* that.  I like that 20 minutes or so at the end of that kind of evening, when you tidy things up and put things away and set the room to rights again.  It satisfies me, for whatever reason.

It also, to be fair, feeds my control freak side.  I make sure that the right things are in the trash versus the recycling.  I load the dishwasher and set the chairs back and admire my newly attractive dining room again, and notice the ornaments on my Scottie tree.

I should post a photo of that, shouldn’t I?


Over the years, I’ve been given or have found so many Scottie ornaments that I usually do a tree with only those on it.  It’s about a three-foot tree.

So, anyway, that whole image of the dominant – and I think it’s usually the female dominant that is seen in that way – who doesn’t work, who has dozens of slavish sorts scurrying about, well, I don’t know any of the female dominant of my acquaintance who do that.

Most of us do at least some of the cooking, if not all, for instance.  I do all of my laundry, and the household laundry, and the laundry slave drew creates at my house.  I do a good part of the housecleaning, though slave drew would be more than happy to do more.

However, alas, that would create more work for me, often, because he has been known to throw out perfectly good condiments, for instance, without telling me until the two times a year when I want catchup and find then that I am actually out.

He’s also been known to “clean up” the bathroom, meaning he did, indeed, wipe the surfaces and even the items themselves…  Which are left for me to put back, when reorganizing my bathroom cupboard was not on my agenda.

So, some of the housecleaning I do is in self-defense, too.

slave drew does do cleaning whenever I ask, or if we’re having people over, he often does the vacuuming and cleaning bathrooms, etc., while I do the cooking and such.

I pick the jobs I want to do, generally, either because I like them or I don’t like others doing them, or because I’m the best suited.  But the same jobs still have to get done in a kink household as a vanilla household and unless one of those people doesn’t work at all, the tasks are probably going to be shared.

That was a little detour, wasn’t it?

So, I made seven different kinds of cookies today, though I have only baked cookies from four of them so far.

The cookies I baked are Santa’s Whiskers, Buttery Brown Sugar Slices on the square plate, and Chocolate Chip and a new recipe, Plantation Chews, which are on the triangular plate.



I had forgotten that the Santa’s Whiskers can be crumbly, so sometimes you end up having to reshape them, but they still taste great.

The Buttery Brown Sugar Slices I am not, thus far, impressed with.  I only at about a third of one that broke, so I haven’t given it a great shot, but we’ll see what slave drew thinks of them, too.

The Chocolate Chip cookies are the recipe off the back of the chocolate chip bag with a couple adjustments which make them the absolute best of that variety.

Melt the butter first, and it has to be butter, even I, who will use other shortening in some cookies, only ever uses real butter in them.

Use twice the amount of vanilla extract that the recipe calls for, and do I have to say that you can’t use imitation vanilla extract?  I hope not.

Did you know you can make your own vanilla extract, too?  It is about as easy as anything and about a tenth of the price.

All vanilla extract is is alcohol and vanilla beans.  You can find vanilla beans in specialty stores – I got my last couple at Trader Joe’s for about $4 for two.

So, take a few vanilla beans, three or four, cut them in half long ways, then split them open with a sharp knife, exposing the little black seeds.  Drop them in a bottle and cover them with either vodka or bourbon.  I live in Kentucky.  I use bourbon.

Like cooking with wine, though, don’t use a liquor you wouldn’t drink.  It’s not worth it.

Shake it up, leave it to sit for about six weeks, shaking occasionally and there you have it, vanilla extract.

All right, now, I’m going to post the recipes for the plantation chews, which seem to be pretty fabulous, and call this a blog.

Plantation Chews
½ cup margarine (I actually doubled the amount of shortening because it was SO dry, and they turned out perfectly yummy – I dunno how they’d have been with half the amount, but there was no harm in doubling it, and no, there is NO flour.)
2 ¼ cups brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
4 cups cornflakes, NOT crushed
1 ¼ cups sweetened flaked coconut
1 ½ cups walnut crumbs

Cream margarine and sugar until very fluffy.
Add eggs and vanilla and mix until incorporated.
Add dry ingredients and beat on high speed in mixer for 12 – 14 minutes. Scrape bowl often.
Scoop out cookies (a little smaller than a ping pong ball) and place on cookie sheet that is either Teflon coated or lined with parchment paper.
Parchment (silicone) paper is your best choice. Do not grease pan.
Flatten cookies with finger tips that are slightly moistened. The moisture will prevent your fingers from sticking to dough as you flatten the cookie dough.
Bake at about 350 F for 6 minutes. Rotate pan (front to back) to distribute heat and then bake a further 6 minutes.
Remove from oven and leave on pan until stiff enough to handle. They will be very soft when they first come out of the oven.
You may need to alter the baking time and temperature of your oven if you do not get a satisfactory result.
This was created by Auntie Crae’s Bakery in Churchill Square, which the resident Canadian tells me is an area in St. John’s in Newfoundland.

14 comments to Update from Cookie Central

  • sin  says:

    I make my own vanilla too. I did a batch today. I live in Canada so I used vodka.

    And my blog is about me rather than just about kink too.


    • MsConstanceExplains  says:

      I hope that we are about more than just our kink. It’s like a vanilla person only writing about missionary sex. I guess. Not being vanilla, I’m not sure.

      I like the bit of flavor – and scent – that the bourbon adds.

  • Wordwytch  says:

    I run into the same mentality when people discover I’m pagan. “Oh? You celebrate (holiday X) why, isn’t that odd/strange/amazing!” It amazes me how narrow some people”s perspectives are when it comes to others.

    As for the cleaning thing… I get it. Wolf has his way, and I have mine, and on occasion, they meet. 🙂

    I will be trying out your plantation chews. 🙂

    • MsConstanceExplains  says:

      Seriously, try the chews. Had I done them before the cookie exchange, I might have used them, because they are utterly fabulous. It’s one of those recipes where the whole adds up to more than the sum of the parts. It’s a wonderful recipe.

      People forget that that the world has had a winter celebration basically forever.

      • Wordwytch  says:

        I will. I like nutty cookies and pastries.

        One of my favorite bands does a song called Santa Claus is Pagan Too! I almost think it should be the theme song for the cookie exchange. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8i0ypSqBxE

        • MsConstanceExplains  says:

          Dar Williams does a song called the Christians and the Pagans: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdV4NW7El5o

          The chorus is:

          So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table,
          Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,
          And just before the meal was served, hands were held and prayers were said,
          Sending hope for peace on earth to all their gods and goddesses.

          There’s a great part later:

          And it was Jane who spoke, she said, “It’s true, your cousin’s not a Christian,”
          “But we love trees, we love the snow, the friends we have, the world we share,
          And you find magic from your God, and we find magic everywhere.”

          • Wordwytch  says:

            I have that one in my playlist too! I love that one. My favorite holiday song I have only an mp3 of. It was never released officially, only played in bars and clubs. It’s called I wanna be the Christmas tree.

            “I want to be the Christmas tree, I want that angel on top of me. Tie me up with strings of lights. Hang that pretty thing up just right. Scoot those gifts under me. Baby, I wanna be the Christmas tree…. ”

            It’s sung to a real bluesy tune. 🙂

  • aisha  says:

    You all make your own vanilla!!!

    Ok, now that you’ve told me how simple it is, my impressed level goes down just a tad, but omg. How frigging cool. That the kind of Earth Mother thing i could actually do!!!


    Ok, not that i’m through raving about that – let me just say that i have tasted Ms. Constance’s cookies. These are the ones i ate on the way home from the Xmas SIG group last year. Ok, not all of them, but only because i moved them to the backseat, and i was driving.

    And what a perfect tree for you, Ms. Constance!


    • aisha  says:

      Um, “now that i’m through raving” – not “not.”

    • MsConstanceExplains  says:

      Really, making your own vanilla is really easy, and real vanilla extract in the store is SO expensive for hardly anything.

      I also often treat it sort of like a sourdough thing. I never buy a new bottle of extract, I start with a bottle and keep adding vanilla beans and bourbon. I got a bottle of extract in the Caribbean when drew and I went there a few months after our wedding, and I just keep using that. The bottle reminds me of the trip, and it’s a nice size, so I just add more bourbon and more vanilla beans when I start running low.

      It is a pretty adorable tree, I admit.

  • Penelope  says:

    You put it so well, Ms Constance – I have thought so many of the same things it’s as if you read my mind. “I am always a kinky person, but not everything I do revolves around kink.” Yes! 🙂

    And yes, the little chores of everyday life still need doing!

    I’m not quite as keen on housework as some, though… although I can totally understand how it can bring pleasure. (Or maybe satisfaction, if pleasure is too strong a term). Things being messy or dirty or just in the wrong place are a niggle; they are unsettling. So to fix them all up and restore neatness or cleanliness or order scratches that psychological itch and makes things feel ‘right’ again.

    I really should straighten this pigsty up a bit.

    • MsConstanceExplains  says:

      My house is a little askew right now because it’s the midst of cookies, but I’ll enjoy setting it to rights, too. And isn’t that an interesting turn of phrase and it is very much how I think of it – setting things to rights. And you’re right, it’s more about satisfaction and less about pleasure, but satisfaction is a good thing, too.

      I do think, too, that one of the things that makes us more accessible is the minutia of daily life, too.

  • Jz  says:

    ooo, the cookies sound quite yummy! (If you posted the recipe, it’s OK for us to steal it, right?)

    And I actually prefer the blogs that toss in a good heaping of real life. All kink all the time is, frankly, tedious after a while… We don’t live that way, why should we blog that way?

    • MsConstanceExplains  says:

      Please steal any recipe you find here that you want. And seriously, make the plantation chews, and no, I am not being paid to push them or anything.

      But seriously, make them.


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