Monthly Archives January 2013

Attracting a Partner, Part 1

January 31, 2013 Relationships  6 comments

I am doing a class next week on Attracting a Partner.

It used to be called, Attracting a Dominant, but then the more I did it the more I realized that the same things went into both sides of it, or many of the same anyway, and it seemed silly to do a class that applied to both but marketed to one.

At the Sunday munch last week, I ended up giving a sort of impromptu vision of what I think is important in finding a partner.

On one level, it’s funny, because I say the same thing in all my classes, on the other hand, it’s not funny at all, really.

The first step is always knowing yourself.

If you do not know what you want, if you are unable to define it and communicate it, the likelihood that you will find it goes WAY down.

I think one of the reasons that can be hard is that it requires a...

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Alarms at Night

January 30, 2013 Uncategorized  5 comments

So, last night I am sleeping soundly, as you might expect, given that it was 4am.

I wake up, slowly, trying to figure out what that sound is.

You know how it is, you’re half-groggy, and it is January, not exactly tornado season.

I spent probably five minutes at least coming awake, trying to figure out what I’m hearing.

Finally, I say to slave drew, “Are those sirens?”

“I think so…”

“Are they TORNADO sirens?”

About then, we both sort of wake up enough to realize that they are, indeed, tornado sirens.

We get up and turn on the television upstairs.  Yes, tornado sirens.  Yep, we’re having what seems to be a hellacious storm, passing over Louisville.

We are warned repeatedly to take shelter, but nothing is HAPPENING around us.

After about 15 minutes, I said, “Let’s go downstairs, if we do ne...

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Website!

January 29, 2013 Bluegrass Leather PrideFringe ElementsLeather Contests  No comments

I am SO freaking happy to announce that I finally have my blog up on my own domain, something that has been on my agenda for a couple of months.

If you’re reading this on MsConstanceExplains at WordPress, well, I’m still very glad to have you.

However, if you’re reading this on my own domain, at MsConstanceExplains.com, well then, I’m even more glad to have you.

To give credit where credit is more than due, I had little to do with this.

My good friend Charles did the migration for me.  I had tried and played at it a few times, but just never got it to work.  I was worried I’d lose everything because I’m not that much of a tech person.  I had spent a couple of hours trying to figure it out, and a month kind of playing at it.

I gave Charles the information last night, and he had it done b...

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Poetry Corner

January 28, 2013 Poetry  One comment

You should know by now that I often turn to poetry here when I lack time and inspiration to write something myself.  And really, I have good taste in poetry, so it’s ok.

I wrote a class of D/s themed poetry, or poetry that spoke to me of it, anyway, some time ago.  I rarely do it – it’s very few people’s thing, but here are parts of it.

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Elinor Wylie, born in 1885, was famous during her life almost as much for her beauty and personality as for her poetry. After an unhappy marriage, she fled to England with Horace Wylie in 1910; following her first husband’s death she married Wylie, and although they were later divorced, she continued to write under the name Elinor Wylie. In 1923 she married William Rose Benét, poet and editor.  She died in 1928.

Pretty Words

Poets make ...

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Titleholder Preparations

January 27, 2013 Bluegrass Leather PrideLeather Contests  2 comments

We had one of the titleholder preps we do in Louisville tonight.  We do preparations for people planning to run for titles and tonight we had five potential contestants and seven or eight of us who were working with them, asking questions, giving feedback on the questions that were being given and the way they were given.

We talked about why they wanted to hold the titles for which they were running, what they thought they brought to the table that other contestants might not, what part spirituality played in their Leather lives, why they were running for the title they were running for.

It’s always interesting to hear how people answer those questions, and I’m generally pleased with where we are.  We have more work, but things are going well.

Then we had the Sunday munch after, and that...

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Fringe Elements Meeting

January 26, 2013 Fringe ElementsKink Community  No comments

We had our second open meeting for Fringe Elements tonight.

We had expected more people than actually showed, but that was fine, too.  We had about 25 people, I think, plus the six of us who sit on the Board of Directors.

We had set it up so we talked about the venue search, our financials, marketing, administration and volunteers.

We’ve been searching for a venue since we started and have had no luck.  We’ve found places that didn’t work for various reasons – location, structure, access, ownership, neighbors, etc., etc., etc.

We talked about having looked at 113 venues, and dealt with something like 90 agents.

We actually have a viewing scheduled for Monday, too.

We talked about our finances, where we were, how much we’d made and from where.

In addition, we talked about how many meeting...

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To a Tea

January 25, 2013 CookingServiceVanilla Life  12 comments

I post so much about tea that I thought I would expound on it because, well, because I can.

I did a tea portion of a class before a formal Leather dinner and it was, apparently, a revelation to a lot of people, so maybe it will have some value here, too.

Tea is a lovely beverage.  It is the second most consumed drink in the world, after water.

Experts say tea provides as many disease-fighting flavonoids antioxidants as fruits or vegetables.

Antioxidants are naturally occurring chemicals that promote a healthier immune system.

White tea contains the most antioxidants, followed by green tea. Black tea undergoes a fermentation process, which severely decreases its antioxidant content (though it still has more than coffee).

Additionally, tea contains a lot of other natural compounds that prom...

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Being Served

January 24, 2013 Fringe ElementsServiceslave drewSubmissives  12 comments

I read an interesting blog by jade, on Queen Bees and service.  I recommend you read it, here, it’s really an interesting entry.

I think that often one of the things that’s hard for people to understand about being a dominant is that being served is not always as easy as it might seem.

For one thing, being served well requires training someone in how you like to be served and that means, then, that you put up with less than ideal service for a while, because no one is going to get it right the first time.

I often use tea as an example in explaining service.

I drink a lot of hot tea.  I think I’ve had four or five pots of tea today...

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Shyness

January 23, 2013 Kink Events  7 comments

I had a conversation tonight with someone about shyness.

When I was a teenager, I was painfully shy.  I know, hard to believe if you know me now.

Now, I will willingly take a stage, take a microphone, stand up in front of people, stand in the spotlight.

I know that it started after I got out of school.

I was astonishingly unpopular in school.  No movie dates or school dances or proms.

What probably won’t surprise anyone is that I was on the annual staff, about my only activity.

Then I got out of school and through a few coincidences and one of those horrible social programs, I got a job I’d never have gotten any other way, that lead me down a lot of paths.

I got a job through CETA, the Comprehensive Employment and Training Act...

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Tuesday

January 22, 2013 Bluegrass Leather PrideFringe Elements  One comment

We had a Fringe Board meeting tonight, which takes both time and energy.

The good news is, however, that I finally took down the Christmas tree in preparation.

Now, to be fair, I hadn’t done a tone of decorating for Christmas.  A small Christmas tree with Scottie ornaments, a few things set out, not a lot.  I was not living in Santa’s workshop or anything, but it is the 22nd of January, it was time to take it all down and put it away.

I’ve got things to do on Bluegrass Leather Pride, which I will do some work on tomorrow and the day after.

I seriously need to respond to comments, and that’s on my agenda.

And after 20 minutes, this is all I have, so I think I should just accept that I haven’t much to say tonight.

Tomorrow I feel sure I’ll be more talkative.

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