Monthly Archives February 2017
Probably the hardest thing to do is show someone else your truest face, the real you, the one without the lipstick and makeup, prettied up for company.
One of the things I most value about kink relationships is that very thing. Being able to how someone the parts of your personality that are not always thought of as positives, and having them accept it.
The reasons to come out are as varied as the things revealed. I know that for me, when I come out to someone, one of the biggest reasons is that I’m not great at compartmentalization, either in my personality and my life. I am what I am.
For instance, no one I told I was a dominatrix ever said, “Wow! Seriously? I’d never have guessed.”
Usually it’s more in the vein of “You know, this explains a LOT…”
I come out, too, because I f...Read More
Coming out seems to be the theme for the week.
This weekend at least two people I consider my family came out to their families. In one case, it went as well as could be expected, the other one was, I think, more difficult and had a less comfortable outcome, at least so far.
Coming out is really about how much of our real faces we show to the people around us. It’s about trusting people with the knowledge of who we really are, the authentic person living inside the skin.
Coming out is scary, because there’s always fear of repercussions. If they see our real faces, perhaps they’ll turn away rather than look at them.
And they might. Most of us know people whose coming out did not go well, disowned at worst and distanced at best from those they told who they were.
I’ve been lucky...Read More
Calendars are a very tidy way of marking time, all nicely divided into equal seconds and minutes and hours, with an extra day thrown in once every four years to make sure it all REALLY comes out even.
People, however, are rarely tidy in their habits, not as a whole, or often even individually, so we don’t remember those equal measures of time quite so out so equally and tidily.
What we use to count out time, to measure it out in front of us or remind us of when it was meted out in the past are the incidents, the celebrations, the gains and losses, or the routines leading up to them. Sometimes it’s big and uncommon things, or experiences we either share, or can relate to.
“Did it happen before or after we moved out of the apartment, or before Joe and Sheila divorced?” “Well, I know that ...Read More