Category Kink and BDSM

Kink First – My First Toy

November 12, 2012 Kink and BDSMMemoriesTravels  3 comments

I was thinking, while I was driving to and from slave drew’s house, that one of the things that might be interesting was to blog about some of my kinky first, and one I thought about in particular was my first “real” toy.

By real, I mean, something that was not meant for something else, a pervertable, but something that cost more than a few dollars.

When you lay out real money for a toy, an implement that isn’t used for anything else but to indulge your kink, well, you’ve kind of crossed over from just dabbling.  You’re committed.

So, the first event I went to was the very first Black Rose.  One of the presenters and vendors there was Sarah Lashes, a British Lesbian out of San Francisco.

She did an amazing class on floggers and flogging, one which probably influenced me more than any oth...

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Confidence or Conceit

July 18, 2012 DominanceKink and BDSMSubmissives  One comment

If called upon to describe myself, I would tell you that, among other things, I was confident.  I have faith in myself, in my decisions, in my ability.  On the other hand, the other side of confidence can be conceit, and where do we draw the line?

I have never been a fan of the concept of female superiority.  Honestly, any noun followed by the word “superiority” makes me nervous.  I don’t think any group of people is superior or inferior.

On the other hand, I do believe I am superior.  Doesn’t that sound conceited?  It’s true, though.

I believe that I am smarter and more aware, that I pay more attention, that I have a long history of making good decisions...

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Events

July 16, 2012 EventsKink and BDSMLeather ContestsTravels  2 comments

I just got an invitation this week to present at Kinky Kollege in Chicago in October.  An old friend, Jack Rinella, asked me to do a 101 sort of class for them, as well as a couple more.  I don’t know what else I’ll present for him, I sent him a long list of classes I have available.

I will also be presenting with my friend Ms Tammy at Mr. Georgia Leather in Atlanta in September, and of course I’ll be presenting at GLLA in August in Indianapolis.  I presented last month at Corn Con in Bloomington, Illinois, and in April at Beyond Leather, in Florida.

I also do local classes once a month at least, too.

I like presenting.  I’m a dominant, what’s better than standing in front of a bunch of people, all of who are gazing at me with rapt attention, hanging on every word I say...

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Deal Breakers

July 15, 2012 DominanceKink and BDSMKink CommunityRelationshipsSubmissivesUncategorized  3 comments

We had our monthly SIG meeting this afternoon.  It was a topic I always enjoy, Deal Breakers and Non-Starters.

We meet for some social time before the discussion because, well, because you can’t get kinky people together and expect them not to be social, even if there’s an agenda.

So, we socialize for a bit before, then, about the time the food usually arrives, I read the list of questions aloud, if people have questions they ask then, and then we break into three separate groups, dominants, submissives and switches.

We are lucky enough to have a fairly large population of switches, or, perhaps the fact that switches have been welcomed here, they feel more comfortable claiming that identity than they might...

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Sadist

July 11, 2012 DominanceKink and BDSM  3 comments

I’ve been speculating of late on the various things I am, both flattering and less so.

I can be selfish.  I want what I want.  I think I should get to have the say in how things go, I think I make good decisions, and that my decisions almost always have positive outcomes, therefore, I should get to be in charge.

I can be bitchy.  Watch me arch an eyebrow sometime, or roll my eyes at someone’s foolishness.  I can be a bitch.

I can be inflexible.  I think of myself as stiff-necked at times.  Probably were I going to change a single thing about myself it might be that.  It’s hard for me to go with the flow, to let things happen around me.  I should be in charge, I should make it all come out fine.

I can be a sadist, too, though that is, I think, very much an on-again, off-again part o...

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Bitch

July 10, 2012 DominanceKink and BDSM  2 comments

So, I would guess that the unflattering term that is most applied to me by those among whom the ranks of my fans do not swell, is “bitch.”

(I’m sure that’s not the only unflattering term that has been been bandied about, only the most common.)

And I can live with that, actually.

I have always felt as though being called a bitch means I won.

And I can be.  A royal bitch on wheels.  I expect people to do their best, to at least put forth effort.  I can hold feet to the fire, and I am capable of spite.  I’ve learned, I think, as I have aged that spite usually brings on regret for the action, so I have learned to do it rarely, but be assured, I consider it often.  I just choose to be an adult about it.

Don’t you hate that, when you have to be an adult?  You work yourself up into a good hi...

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Dominant or Bossy?

July 9, 2012 DominanceKink and BDSMSubmissives  4 comments

That is the question.

I have a picture of myself at about three, which my ex, Beth, onee told me that I should, “put on your dominatrix page.”

I have said about myself that I was bossy at the age of three, and those of you who know me might recognize my current self buried in that personality, with her hands propped on her hips, looking up at the camera.

Honestly, to some extent, bossy and dominant are often the same thing, at least in most of the people I know.

The inability to make decisions is an astonishing thing to me.  I can make decisions quickly, and my judgement is usually pretty good, meaning that my tendency to decide quickly usually has pretty good re-enforcement.

While making a decision to do – or not to do – something is usually a fairly quick one for me, experience has als...

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Munch Weekend

July 6, 2012 Kink and BDSMKink CommunityMemories  No comments

Tonight is the Friday Louisville Munch, then tomorrow is the Saturday Louisville Munch.  It’s rare for me to miss either of them, and tonight will be no exception, unless something doesn’t go as planned.

The first munch I ever went to was 15 years ago this month, in Lexington, Kentucky, at a Ryan’s Steakhouse.  There were, perhaps, 15 of us.  A couple named Denise and Jeff ran them int he dim dark days, though not for very long.  I saw Denise not that long ago and she had changed little.

She isn’t very active at all anymore.  I can’t think of anyone else in this area that I met that long ago who is still active.  Jim had to step down a long time ago because of work issues, then had a severe health issue.  The last time I saw him was at a friend’s funeral.

Deb married her slave and n...

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Great Lakes Leather Alliance

July 1, 2012 Kink and BDSMLeather Contestsslave drewslave thomas  5 comments

I have spent my day confirming the various schedule for GLLA.

One of the projects I work on all year is GLLA.  The GLLA Mission Statement, from the website, is:

The mission of the Great Lakes Leather Alliance is to build bridges between the Leather, BDSM, D/s, M/s, fetish, and alternative sexual lifestyle communities.

The Great Lakes Leather Alliance hopes to promote education and enhance communication between each of these groups, and it seeks to promote the success and welfare of the individuals and organizations within our combined community. We especially want to protect against threats to our freedom of expression.

We will not discriminate based on age, sexual preference, gender, race, or any other diversity...

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Wicked

June 29, 2012 Kink and BDSMSubmissives  2 comments

Isn’t that a fine word?  Wicked.

Let it roll over your tongue.  Your lips form the same pucker as in a kiss, then you have the sharp sound in the middle, with that definitive d sound at the end.

It has several definitions, but the one I like the best is “Playfully malicious or mischievous.”  Playfully malicious.

Doesn’t that just sound like a female dominant?  A good one, anyway.  Playfully malicious.

drew often refers to me as “wicked.”  I do quite like it.

I’ve been accused of having a wicked laugh, and a wicked mind, and a wicked touch.  I’ve never denied any of those.  I consider them compliments.  I like the idea of wickedness.

I think that comes as close to how I feel, too, when I’m doing something, well, something wicked.

I feel playfully malicious...

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