Category Kink and BDSM

Boundaries

June 10, 2012 Kink and BDSMKink Community  No comments

Boundaries are something that’s been on my mind lately.

I found a definition of boundary online that I like a lot: That which indicates or fixes a limit or extent, or marks a bound, as of a territory; a bounding or separating line; a real or imaginary limit.

The kinds of boundaries I’ve been thinking about are the ones that exist in our community, particularly in public forums.

Having hosted a munch for a decade, I’ve met more novices than most.  I’ve watched a number of people go from absolutely green and terrified to finding a place within the community.

If there’s one place, though, where a novice is most likely to misstep, it is in not understanding the boundaries that exist.

It’s easy to understand why...

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I Am Kinky

June 8, 2012 Kink and BDSMRelationshipsslave drewSubmissives  No comments

I am kinky.

What that means to me is that I have significant interests that are outside those of the average person, particularly in terms of how I view and conduct personal and sexual relationships. Being kinky doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone, just as being rich doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone.

To one person, being rich means having a car that runs; to another, it might mean having a yacht. Lots of people are kinky to varying degrees, and in different ways. It’s unlikely that any two people who both claim to be kinky are kinky in exactly the same way, to exactly the same extent.

I am probably kinkier than many of you who will read this but it’s unlikely I’m kinkier than all of you.

The primary way in which I am kinky is in the kinds of relationships that interest...

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My Kink’s Better than YOUR Kink

June 8, 2012 Kink and BDSMKink CommunityRelationships  No comments

(Another reprint of something I wrote and posted elsewhere.)

We’ve all done it. We’ve all dismissed someone else in the community because they’re not a real” Master, or a “true” slave. The implication, of course, is that we ourselves are that rarest of breeds, the real, true example of the thing we are.

Sometimes I think we have a point. I remember hearing a woman tell me, years ago, “I’m a slave, but I’m not cleaning ANYONE’S house.”

I had another man say of his wife that she was a complete slave, but, of course, she had equal say everywhere except in the bedroom.

I myself had a “slave” once who told me, in a not very pleasant tone, that he would NEVER give up his life’s work of videotaping every single episode of Star Trek and Dr. Who, not for anyone...

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Rainy Day

June 5, 2012 Kink and BDSM  No comments

It was a cold and rainy day, at least for early June, in a year that’s been notably mostly for how warm it was and how early.

My feet have been wet and cold a good part of the day.  The hems of my jeans were damp, too, a feeling I despise.

I was busy all day.  I had to run out at 5pm and do a couple of things, including run to the grocery.  Traffic was slow and ugly, as it always is when there’s rain at rush hour.

What I did is came home, made dinner – which was quite good – did some work, and I have a list of another dozen or so things I want to get done tonight.

What I would have liked, though, would have been to have had a hot bath, water scented with something floral, lilacs, perhaps, or gardenia.  A glass of wine, even though I don’t especially like wine...

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How to Impress Me Redux

June 3, 2012 Kink and BDSMLeatherRelationshipsSubmissives  No comments

I kept a blog on another site for a while, about three years ago.  Had we done as I wanted, when I wanted, I imagine we’d be the Fetlife site now, but I couldn’t do the coding part and The one who did saw no urgency, so by the time it was up and running, so was Fetlife.

A few friends posted articles and blogs there, but in the end, there just wasn’t enough traffic to sustain it, and it died on the vine.  Six months or more of my life was basically wasted on it, not to mention a certain amount of money.  Software of that sort isn’t cheap, fyi.

Anyway, I am going to occasionally repost something I wrote then, because it’s one way of ensuring I actually put up a new blog on a daily basis, and I want to do that.  So, here’s the first...

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Dangerous Curves

June 2, 2012 Kink and BDSMLeatherslave drewslave thomas  No comments

I like knives.

I have liked knives for a long time.  I don’t do cuttings with them, I use them mostly to threaten and intimidate those who like such things, and sometimes to leave scratches on the skin.  I have never intentionally cut anyone with a knifes and if drew hadn’t moved his leg that one time, well, there was a bit of blood and, I think, a small bandaid was required…

I remember the first time I played with someone who was always one of my favorite playmates.  He had worn a heavy metal cock ring and every time I tapped the knife blade on the ring, his cock would twitch.

One of my early submissives was a West Point grad and I used to enjoy laying a knife blade to his throat while he sat in front of me.  Something about that posture with military training…

Years ago, I was talkin...

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Friday Munch

June 2, 2012 Kink and BDSM  No comments

It was a long day, which was topped off by the Louisville Friday Munch, at a Chinese buffet.  I spent most of it talking to Cerrin, one of my favorite people.  She’s very funny, and is known for her cookies.

Some of my regular crew didn’t make it, which is fine, I talked to Cerrin and then Josh mostly, then the three of us left together.  There was a gathering at a private home after, but I was too tired.

Plus, slave drew is supposed to be back late tonight, and I wanted to be home.  He’s been working an a huge project for the last couple of weeks, so it will be nice to have him back around.  His workshop is in his house, which is about 200 miles west.

Tomorrow I’ll do my yard sale thing.  I do it most Saturdays when the weather is nice...

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The Buttered Biscuit Theory

June 1, 2012 Kink and BDSMKink CommunityRelationships  No comments

I promised a day or two ago to explain my Buttered Biscuit Theory of Life.

I often tell this story when I teach classes, particularly a class on Attracting a Partner.  I see so many people who will tell you they WANT something.  A partner, a job, an education, a house, a better life, whatever it is.

The way they pursue it, though, is less than effective, bringing me to the BBToL.

My first Scottie was Beamer.

Beamer is in the red collar, Lulu in the purple.

Beamer was a complicated dog.  She wasn’t mean, she didn’t bite, she wasn’t destructive, she was actually pretty smart.  We got her when she was eight weeks old, little strips of newspaper clinging to her little feet from the crate she’d been in for the drive.

She didn’t much like strangers.  Again, she didn’t bite, she just barked...

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Memorial Day

May 29, 2012 Kink and BDSMKink CommunityLeatherMemories  No comments

Today was the last day of a long weekend, and while it was still quite hot, it wasn’t as hot as it has been.  I did not do any real weeding because we’re supposed to have rain tomorrow, which will make the ground softer and the weeds easier to pull, and cool it down a bit; it made more sense to wait.

I did, however, get the patio put together mostly.  Flower pots still need to be moved, I’m not sure of the placement of a couple of pieces of furniture, I have a few more plants to put in pots or the ground, but it’s an enjoyable area now, so did do that.

As I think a holiday like this is bound to, I spent some time today thinking about friends and family that are no longer here.

My father died when I was 2, my mother died eleven years ago this week...

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Beginnings

May 26, 2012 Kink and BDSMKink CommunityRelationshipsslave drewslave thomas  No comments

Don’t we all love beginnings?  Remember when you were a kid, those first days of school, when you had the brand new notebook with tons of empty pages, fresh and clean and pristine, and sharpened pencils, points so dangerous you couldn’t press too hard or you’d tear the paper?

Maybe you had a packet of pens, clear barrels with the black ink clearly visible, like a dip stick inside, ready to spell out words and formulas?  Or a fresh box of crayons, all the same length and very uniform, before you had broken points and sharpened them, being forced to peel the paper away from the tips of your favorites, the red and black and blue.

There’s something freeing about beginnings, about the blank piece of paper in front of you, all the unwritten words swirling around in your head, waiting for you t...

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