Category Kink Community

Late Night

July 8, 2012 Kink CommunityLouisville Munch  4 comments

It is quite late now, well after 1am, particularly late for someone who’s been getting up at 6am or so of late.

Another munch is history, a big one tonight, 85 people or so.  Lots of new folks, and lots of old friends, which was nice to see.

Harold, who came to the very first munch, was there, and sat next to me.

aisha, one of my favorites, sat across from me.

Ambrosio, visiting from Texas sat across from me.

Alan was there, too, another face that we don’t see often these days.

There were lots of new folks, too, as there always are, and lots was said and done and I’m sure I’ll be more able to blog about it comprehensibly tomorrow, when I have had a bit more sleep.

For now, however, my pillow beckons and I don’t intend to keep it waiting much longer.

A good night to you all, and since this...

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Munch Weekend

July 6, 2012 Kink and BDSMKink CommunityMemories  No comments

Tonight is the Friday Louisville Munch, then tomorrow is the Saturday Louisville Munch.  It’s rare for me to miss either of them, and tonight will be no exception, unless something doesn’t go as planned.

The first munch I ever went to was 15 years ago this month, in Lexington, Kentucky, at a Ryan’s Steakhouse.  There were, perhaps, 15 of us.  A couple named Denise and Jeff ran them int he dim dark days, though not for very long.  I saw Denise not that long ago and she had changed little.

She isn’t very active at all anymore.  I can’t think of anyone else in this area that I met that long ago who is still active.  Jim had to step down a long time ago because of work issues, then had a severe health issue.  The last time I saw him was at a friend’s funeral.

Deb married her slave and n...

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Independence Day 2012

July 5, 2012 Kink CommunityRelationships  No comments

So, yesterday I wrote about my own unconventional wedding, long, long ago.

Yesterday I went to a barbecue, a Fourth of July cookout.

I had friends that I knew had decided to elope on Independence day, but silly me, I thought they’d go to Gatlinburg, or Memphis or something.  No, they decided to get married at the cookout.

It was approximately 1000 degrees outside yesterday.  Or maybe 2000.

It was fucking HOT.

The groom wore a handsome black suit with dress shirt and tie, the bride wore a lovely black and white cocktail dress, along with her steel collar and cuffs, which she wear all the time.

It was a kinky wedding, so a friend had gotten himself ordained online in honor of the occasion, the vows were written on the fly...

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What to Expect at a Munch

June 26, 2012 Kink and BDSMKink CommunityLouisville Munch  No comments

It occurred to me that I have never posted the single piece of writing that has been used more than anything else I’ve ever done.  I wrote it years ago, back in 2000, because I got so many people asking me about munches.  Since then it’s been used in introductory packets all over the world, literally – I got a request from South Africa, years back, and if you do a Google search on it as ” What to Expect at a Munch,” the first 150 or so, at least, references are to this article.

What to Expect at a Munch

If you’ve never been to a munch before, the prospect can be very intimidating. What should you expect, how should you behave, how should you dress, what might happen, what might not? When you add that to a lifestyle that can seem terribly intimidating on its own, the terror mounts...

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Seven Rules for Posting Photos

June 19, 2012 Kink Community  No comments

Another retread at the end of a longish day.

I have come to the conclusion that there need to be some rules about photos posted on various dating sites and social networks, so I am taking it on myself to write them. I’m just that kind of selfless girl.

Rule #1
When taking photos in your bedroom beside your bed, pick up your damn laundry. I don’t care if it’s clean or dirty, I don’t even care if you throw it on the floor outside the camera’s view, but no more photos of you standing beside your bed which looks like the remains of the 80% off sale at The Gap.

Rule #2
When taking photos in other rooms, look around at what the camera sees...

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Awards

June 18, 2012 EventsKink CommunityLeatherLeather Contests  4 comments

I have, in the course of my time in the community, been nominated for a fair number of awards.  I never win any, to be clear, and that’s really ok, though it’s always easier to lose when you lose to people whom you would vote for over yourself, too.

I got a notice in my email today that I’d been nominated for a Pantheon of Leather award.

The Pantheon of Leather is one of the major award groups in the Leather community.  There are some other awards, too, obviously, but Pantheon is kind of the Academy Awards of Leather, in that there are a lot of different awards for a lot of different categories.

There are six or eight regions, and there are usually between four and six nominees in each category...

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Guilt and Fear

June 17, 2012 Kink and BDSMKink CommunityRelationshipsSubmissives  2 comments

That was the topic of our SIG group meeting today.  It’s funny, I think the discussion groups are absolutely not for everyone, but I think that for the people who find them valuable, they find them very valuable.

We talked about how guilt and fear affected us and our relationships.  Random observations follow, based on our conversation.  Your mileage, as always, may vary.

Submissives and slaves feel guilt more often, when dominants do feel guilty it’s often a more intense guilt, because we feel guilty for both parties.

Most male dominants had a lot of guilt based around their kink because they were all told that they shouldn’t hit a girl...

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Corn Con

June 11, 2012 EventsKink and BDSMKink CommunityTravels  No comments

I am back now from my weekend excursion, to Bloomington, Illinois.

I was at a great event called Convention in the Corn, or Corn Con.

It’s a very small event, I doubt there were 75 people there all told, but we had a great time.  I went with my friend Kenny, and Ms Tammy and her slave, troy.

Corn Con is put on by Spyn, a black Lesbian Dominant.  I’ve known Spyn for years, though not well at all.  She always comes to Great Lakes, but we never had a reason to do more than say hello in passing.  She’d approached Ms Tammy to present, and she suggested that I contact Spyn about presenting, too, since we often travel together and didn’t mind staying together.

So, after a little back and forth, I ended up as one of the three presenters, who also included my friend Min, who works at the Leathe...

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Boundaries

June 10, 2012 Kink and BDSMKink Community  No comments

Boundaries are something that’s been on my mind lately.

I found a definition of boundary online that I like a lot: That which indicates or fixes a limit or extent, or marks a bound, as of a territory; a bounding or separating line; a real or imaginary limit.

The kinds of boundaries I’ve been thinking about are the ones that exist in our community, particularly in public forums.

Having hosted a munch for a decade, I’ve met more novices than most.  I’ve watched a number of people go from absolutely green and terrified to finding a place within the community.

If there’s one place, though, where a novice is most likely to misstep, it is in not understanding the boundaries that exist.

It’s easy to understand why...

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My Kink’s Better than YOUR Kink

June 8, 2012 Kink and BDSMKink CommunityRelationships  No comments

(Another reprint of something I wrote and posted elsewhere.)

We’ve all done it. We’ve all dismissed someone else in the community because they’re not a real” Master, or a “true” slave. The implication, of course, is that we ourselves are that rarest of breeds, the real, true example of the thing we are.

Sometimes I think we have a point. I remember hearing a woman tell me, years ago, “I’m a slave, but I’m not cleaning ANYONE’S house.”

I had another man say of his wife that she was a complete slave, but, of course, she had equal say everywhere except in the bedroom.

I myself had a “slave” once who told me, in a not very pleasant tone, that he would NEVER give up his life’s work of videotaping every single episode of Star Trek and Dr. Who, not for anyone...

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