Category Memories

Kink First – My First Event

November 16, 2012 EventsKink and BDSMKink CommunityMemoriesSubmissivesTravelsUncategorized  7 comments

I’ve talked before about my first event, which was Black Rose 10, in November of 1997.

It was called Black Rose 10 because it was a party to celebrate the tenth anniversary of the Black Rose organization, out of Washington, D.C.

My submissive at the time was Bill, who lived outside Chicago and was some minor Republican elected official, one that sent him to Washington on a fairly regular basis.

Who knows, maybe he wasn’t so minor of an official.  If I could only remember anything other than Bill, I might be able to find out, but then, I’d have to be particularly interested, too, and I’m not, so there’s that.

Anyway, Bill spent enough time in D.C. that he knew about BR and knew about the party, and wanted to go and wanted me to go with him.

I don’t know what I expected, or what I knew abou...

Read More

Kink First – My First Scene

November 15, 2012 Kink and BDSMMemoriesSubmissives  11 comments

So, perhaps this is a bad title because, to be truthful, I don’t remember my first scene.

But doesn’t it seem like the next kind of first?

So, anyway, though I don’t remember it, there are things I do remember about those kind of firsts.

I remember my first girlfriend kind of ashamedly asking me to tie her to the bed.

I remember not being disturbed by it.  I don’t know that I had ever thought of it before, not really, but it didn’t shock or worry me.  It was more of a sense of, Oh, ok, well this is interesting, I wonder how you tie someone to a bed..?

I figured it out, btw.

I now have to re-rope my bed every five or six years.

You know, the rope slips or starts to fray or drops to some impossible to retrieve place…

The usual.

Anyway, I remember she really liked it.

I remember I let her o...

Read More

Kink First – My First Toy

November 12, 2012 Kink and BDSMMemoriesTravels  3 comments

I was thinking, while I was driving to and from slave drew’s house, that one of the things that might be interesting was to blog about some of my kinky first, and one I thought about in particular was my first “real” toy.

By real, I mean, something that was not meant for something else, a pervertable, but something that cost more than a few dollars.

When you lay out real money for a toy, an implement that isn’t used for anything else but to indulge your kink, well, you’ve kind of crossed over from just dabbling.  You’re committed.

So, the first event I went to was the very first Black Rose.  One of the presenters and vendors there was Sarah Lashes, a British Lesbian out of San Francisco.

She did an amazing class on floggers and flogging, one which probably influenced me more than any oth...

Read More

Forgive and Forget

July 14, 2012 EventsKink CommunityMemories  2 comments

Not so much, actually.

I am not really a forgive and forget kind of girl.  I can forgive mistakes; flaws in character, however, are another thing.

Other people seem to be far more fickle than I am.  I don’t usually burn bridges until I am absolutely positive that there is nothing on the other side I will truly miss before I set ablaze the only means by which to reach it.

I do have a temper, but it rarely flares.  I am more an Ice Princess type than a Drama Queen.  Revenge is a dish best served cold, after all.

It takes a lot for me to write someone off.  It’s not a whim thing, it’s a considered decision.  I have to believe you to be essentially dishonest, obstructionist, untrustworthy and/or singularly unreliable.

I have never made the decision to sever ties with someone based on one...

Read More

Munch Weekend

July 6, 2012 Kink and BDSMKink CommunityMemories  No comments

Tonight is the Friday Louisville Munch, then tomorrow is the Saturday Louisville Munch.  It’s rare for me to miss either of them, and tonight will be no exception, unless something doesn’t go as planned.

The first munch I ever went to was 15 years ago this month, in Lexington, Kentucky, at a Ryan’s Steakhouse.  There were, perhaps, 15 of us.  A couple named Denise and Jeff ran them int he dim dark days, though not for very long.  I saw Denise not that long ago and she had changed little.

She isn’t very active at all anymore.  I can’t think of anyone else in this area that I met that long ago who is still active.  Jim had to step down a long time ago because of work issues, then had a severe health issue.  The last time I saw him was at a friend’s funeral.

Deb married her slave and n...

Read More

Independence Day 1981

July 4, 2012 MemoriesRelationshipsVanilla Life  No comments

Today is the anniversary of my first wedding.

I married Beth the first time on July 4th, 1981.

So, the first time we “married,” we said it to ourselves in Cazenovia, New York, under some trees, while fireworks went off overhead.  My ring was a silver one with a small blob of silver in place of a stone.  I have no idea what ever happened to it, I’ve not seen it in 20 years, anyway.

The next year, however, we did it up and had a big ol’ gay wedding.  It was, of course, illegal everywhere then, so there was no legal ceremony.

We were married by a Unitarian Universalist minister, Father Tim, who suffered so much guilt over the fact that we were not able to legally marry that we always expected him to write us a check.

He and his wife were what slave drew calls “crunchy” types...

Read More


July 2, 2012 Memoriesslave drewslave thomas  No comments

I am suspicious of extravagant flattery.  Tell me on first meeting that I am the most amazing and beautiful and sexy woman you have ever met and you will likely notice my eyes narrowing and the set of my mouth becoming tighter.  I am thinking, if your standards are so low, and pretty words fall so easily from your lips, then how can I trust what you tell me about anything else?

Having said that, let me also add that, like most humans, I do like and appreciate compliments.  I was thinking about them this afternoon while weeding my garden.  I don’t know if there’s some connection there or not, but it was when it occurred.

The compliments that have meant the most to me were based on knowledge of me.  The ones that matter to me, too, were based on knowing myself, as well...

Read More

A Busy Saturday

June 24, 2012 GardenKink and BDSMMemoriesslave drewSubmissivesVanilla Life  No comments

He had a very pleasant day, in which we accomplished a lot, two of my very favorite things.

I did my usual yard sale thing this morning, and found some nifty stuff.  drew got clothes, some naturalist books and his favorite, three aluminum outlines of birds, clearly made by a person and not a mold or company, that I thought he would like hung on his workshop doors down at his house in Western Kentucky.

I found some shoes, a book or two, and several plants.  I recently cleaned out the small bed on the kitchen side of the house and it needed some plants.  The spot gets baking sun most of the day during the summer, so it isn’t a spot for sissy plants.

I bought four sedums, a succulent that will do well there, and four small pots of Siberian iris, on which I spent exactly $1.85.

I met drew f...

Read More

Memorial Day

May 29, 2012 Kink and BDSMKink CommunityLeatherMemories  No comments

Today was the last day of a long weekend, and while it was still quite hot, it wasn’t as hot as it has been.  I did not do any real weeding because we’re supposed to have rain tomorrow, which will make the ground softer and the weeds easier to pull, and cool it down a bit; it made more sense to wait.

I did, however, get the patio put together mostly.  Flower pots still need to be moved, I’m not sure of the placement of a couple of pieces of furniture, I have a few more plants to put in pots or the ground, but it’s an enjoyable area now, so did do that.

As I think a holiday like this is bound to, I spent some time today thinking about friends and family that are no longer here.

My father died when I was 2, my mother died eleven years ago this week...

Read More