Category Submissives

Confidence or Conceit

July 18, 2012 DominanceKink and BDSMSubmissives  One comment

If called upon to describe myself, I would tell you that, among other things, I was confident.  I have faith in myself, in my decisions, in my ability.  On the other hand, the other side of confidence can be conceit, and where do we draw the line?

I have never been a fan of the concept of female superiority.  Honestly, any noun followed by the word “superiority” makes me nervous.  I don’t think any group of people is superior or inferior.

On the other hand, I do believe I am superior.  Doesn’t that sound conceited?  It’s true, though.

I believe that I am smarter and more aware, that I pay more attention, that I have a long history of making good decisions...

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Deal Breakers

July 15, 2012 DominanceKink and BDSMKink CommunityRelationshipsSubmissivesUncategorized  3 comments

We had our monthly SIG meeting this afternoon.  It was a topic I always enjoy, Deal Breakers and Non-Starters.

We meet for some social time before the discussion because, well, because you can’t get kinky people together and expect them not to be social, even if there’s an agenda.

So, we socialize for a bit before, then, about the time the food usually arrives, I read the list of questions aloud, if people have questions they ask then, and then we break into three separate groups, dominants, submissives and switches.

We are lucky enough to have a fairly large population of switches, or, perhaps the fact that switches have been welcomed here, they feel more comfortable claiming that identity than they might...

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Dominant or Bossy?

July 9, 2012 DominanceKink and BDSMSubmissives  4 comments

That is the question.

I have a picture of myself at about three, which my ex, Beth, onee told me that I should, “put on your dominatrix page.”

I have said about myself that I was bossy at the age of three, and those of you who know me might recognize my current self buried in that personality, with her hands propped on her hips, looking up at the camera.

Honestly, to some extent, bossy and dominant are often the same thing, at least in most of the people I know.

The inability to make decisions is an astonishing thing to me.  I can make decisions quickly, and my judgement is usually pretty good, meaning that my tendency to decide quickly usually has pretty good re-enforcement.

While making a decision to do – or not to do – something is usually a fairly quick one for me, experience has als...

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Wicked

June 29, 2012 Kink and BDSMSubmissives  2 comments

Isn’t that a fine word?  Wicked.

Let it roll over your tongue.  Your lips form the same pucker as in a kiss, then you have the sharp sound in the middle, with that definitive d sound at the end.

It has several definitions, but the one I like the best is “Playfully malicious or mischievous.”  Playfully malicious.

Doesn’t that just sound like a female dominant?  A good one, anyway.  Playfully malicious.

drew often refers to me as “wicked.”  I do quite like it.

I’ve been accused of having a wicked laugh, and a wicked mind, and a wicked touch.  I’ve never denied any of those.  I consider them compliments.  I like the idea of wickedness.

I think that comes as close to how I feel, too, when I’m doing something, well, something wicked.

I feel playfully malicious...

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A Busy Saturday

June 24, 2012 GardenKink and BDSMMemoriesslave drewSubmissivesVanilla Life  No comments

He had a very pleasant day, in which we accomplished a lot, two of my very favorite things.

I did my usual yard sale thing this morning, and found some nifty stuff.  drew got clothes, some naturalist books and his favorite, three aluminum outlines of birds, clearly made by a person and not a mold or company, that I thought he would like hung on his workshop doors down at his house in Western Kentucky.

I found some shoes, a book or two, and several plants.  I recently cleaned out the small bed on the kitchen side of the house and it needed some plants.  The spot gets baking sun most of the day during the summer, so it isn’t a spot for sissy plants.

I bought four sedums, a succulent that will do well there, and four small pots of Siberian iris, on which I spent exactly $1.85.

I met drew f...

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Guilt and Fear

June 17, 2012 Kink and BDSMKink CommunityRelationshipsSubmissives  2 comments

That was the topic of our SIG group meeting today.  It’s funny, I think the discussion groups are absolutely not for everyone, but I think that for the people who find them valuable, they find them very valuable.

We talked about how guilt and fear affected us and our relationships.  Random observations follow, based on our conversation.  Your mileage, as always, may vary.

Submissives and slaves feel guilt more often, when dominants do feel guilty it’s often a more intense guilt, because we feel guilty for both parties.

Most male dominants had a lot of guilt based around their kink because they were all told that they shouldn’t hit a girl...

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A Glad Heart

June 16, 2012 Relationshipsslave drewslave thomasSubmissives  2 comments

For the first time since I started blogging – not that long, of course, but still – I didn’t blog yesterday at all.

I do have a fairly good reason.

My Internet provider had an “area outage.”  My Internet went down about 3:15pm on Friday and, because I was online, I noticed immediately and called.  They tried a couple of resets, they didn’t work, they decided it must be my equipment.  They would have to send someone out to “recalibrate” it.

And the soonest they could get to me was Sunday at 2pm.

Crap.  Crap.  Crappity crap.

It’s amazing how disturbing that was.  Forty-eight hours without Internet access?  Would I survive.

Then, about two hours later, I thought to check my cable only to discover it was out, too...

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I Am Kinky

June 8, 2012 Kink and BDSMRelationshipsslave drewSubmissives  No comments

I am kinky.

What that means to me is that I have significant interests that are outside those of the average person, particularly in terms of how I view and conduct personal and sexual relationships. Being kinky doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone, just as being rich doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone.

To one person, being rich means having a car that runs; to another, it might mean having a yacht. Lots of people are kinky to varying degrees, and in different ways. It’s unlikely that any two people who both claim to be kinky are kinky in exactly the same way, to exactly the same extent.

I am probably kinkier than many of you who will read this but it’s unlikely I’m kinkier than all of you.

The primary way in which I am kinky is in the kinds of relationships that interest...

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How to Impress Me Redux

June 3, 2012 Kink and BDSMLeatherRelationshipsSubmissives  No comments

I kept a blog on another site for a while, about three years ago.  Had we done as I wanted, when I wanted, I imagine we’d be the Fetlife site now, but I couldn’t do the coding part and The one who did saw no urgency, so by the time it was up and running, so was Fetlife.

A few friends posted articles and blogs there, but in the end, there just wasn’t enough traffic to sustain it, and it died on the vine.  Six months or more of my life was basically wasted on it, not to mention a certain amount of money.  Software of that sort isn’t cheap, fyi.

Anyway, I am going to occasionally repost something I wrote then, because it’s one way of ensuring I actually put up a new blog on a daily basis, and I want to do that.  So, here’s the first...

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